It had always been there.

And though I knew it, I didn’t.

When it was there,

I didn’t notice it at all.

When it wasn’t there,

I realized it had been there all along.

But for that time, it was if

It had never been.

Something changed, something remained, something died, something was alive.

Now it returns, I knew that it would.

And though I knew it was there before

I didn’t know it.

But now it is never hidden.

It’s there, and constantly reminds me of its presence.

There is a place that it is not, but it always is.

A place that it disappears, but lingers still.

Gone one day, I cry! Yet it will never be.

But for now I go

to the place where it is not, though it ever is.

That place where things changed, yet remained,

Things died, Things became alive.

It stands before me, calling out, constantly reminding.

I don’t hear it, but its voice rings deep inside me.

What if it goes away again?

Will I still know that it is there?

What if it never leaves?

It never leaves, but is gone.

Did things really change, or do they remain, Did things die, Did they come alive?

It’s always there, I know it is.

But there is a place that it is not,

But  always is.

So I go to where it is not, even though in reality, it is.

This is my first poem that I have written in probably 27 years. The title gives understanding to it. You can take the meaning however you want. Whatever your distance is. Between you and God, you and someone, whatever.